Humility Comes Home

September 18, 2013

State of my car after crash

State of my car after crash

A split second, that’s all it takes for life to change. A split second, is a mere blink of an eye. A split second, and I was hanging on for dear life.

It was September 2008 and I was visiting Bangladesh for a couple of weeks for a bit of work. My parents were in England so I would be alone at my dad's house. Fortunately, my maternal uncle, his wife and kids would lodge at our house for my stay. It was a bit of an inconvenience for them not because it wasn't their home, as they had stayed on many previous occasions. More so because it was the month of Ramadan and the daily rituals were trying at the best of times let alone when one is observing fast from sunrise to sunset at someone else's house.

I planned one day to visit a colleague who was also in Bangladesh from the UK. He lived forty miles away to the west of Sylhet city. The roads being what they were it would take over two hours. My uncle would join me on this trip and we were to leave early morning. We would be taking my Nissan Terrano that I had brought over from England in 2006.

My uncle decided to drive, even though this irked me a bit, as it was my car which I had not driven for almost six months, I didn't give it much thought. As we were driving out of my village, my uncle stated that we would be picking up his cousin who wanted to come with us. I hadn't realized he had invited someone else and I thought why do we have to dilly-dally with someone else for the journey. Begrudgingly I accepted his cousin travelling with us as we headed into Beani Bazaar to pick him up. We found his cousin waiting for us next to the stalls of fresh produce vendors who were setting up their wares for the day.

We headed north along the potholed road and left the town itself at around nine in the morning. Once out of town the road was flanked by open fields with the green shoots of rice protruding from ankle high water. The day was beautiful, it was dry, sunny and judging by the sun it was going to be at least thirty degrees Celsius. Our drive to the town of Bishwanath was uneventful. Once there we spent a couple of hours chatting and my friend showed me his family farm and the crops there were growing. As it was Ramadan no food or drink was offered and none was sought.

It was sometime after one in the afternoon that we headed back home, again my uncle drove with his cousin sitting in the back seat directly behind him. We made one fuel stop in Sylhet and drove by a car spare parts shop to ask about tyre prices before heading east out of the city. Just outside the city my uncle drove to where the new bridge crossing the Surma River was being built. After a brief look we got back in the car, however this time my uncle's cousin sat behind me and immediately fell asleep.

I occupied myself by sending text messages to friends back in England and looking at some of the pictures I had taking that day. We were on a stretch of road just outside the town of Charkai about eleven miles from Beani Bazaar. The road was long and straight, our car was the only vehicle on the road and nothing was ahead as far as the eye could see.

I returned back to my phone, when all of a sudden I felt the vehicle veer unnaturally away from the road and towards the right. I looked up to see my uncle slumped over the steering wheel and before I could even comprehend or react to what was happening the car slammed into a tree trunk – and the tree won.

The sleeping passenger behind me slammed into the back of my seat and hurtled me forward smashing my forehead into the windscreen and my right knee on the dashboard. When the car settled wedged into the tree trunk I found myself without my glasses and blurred vision. My vision was further hindered by warm blood flowing down my face. I felt an immense pressure in my chest and had difficulty breathing. I looked down at my right leg which was pointing out a weird angle and I could not move it. I realized that my leg had come out of the hip socket.

In that instance of realizing how severe my situation was, my heart said “Dear god take me away.”

However my mind stepped in and said “No! this is not how it is supposed to end. I have so much to do, so much to see and there are so many people who rely on me. I will not let it all end like this."

Anger took over and I started to become more alert and aware of the situation. Anger made me focus and get my wits together. Anger caused adrenaline to course through me enabling me to find new strength.

I slowly looked towards my right to see my uncle leant over the airbag that had deployed from the steering wheel. He was rasping, breathing heavily and moaning in pain. I could not move to check if he was okay and the passenger behind me made no sound nor movement. I began calling out to my uncle even though it hurt to breathe let alone speak. I could feel something rattling in my right rib cage.

The car horn was blaring away stuck in activation, the engine was hissing as steam rose from the bonnet and I could hear people scampering around in an attempt to rescue us. I could see through bloodied vision that the tree we struck was in front of a small homestead. I could make out blurred people milling around in a panicked state.

From having been in accidents before I knew not to try to move, not that I could if I tried. Increasingly the blood flowing over my eyes began to completely block my vision. I had horrific images of my forehead cracked open like a nut.

Eventually after what seemed like an eternity two men came round to my door and opened it and before I could say a word they grabbed my legs and left arm and pulled me out of the vehicle.

I screamed in agony as my right hip popped back into place, I yelled that my leg was broken, but I do not think they heard a word. They lay me out on the roadside as they got my uncle and the rear passenger out. The pain I experienced was so excruciating that I felt nothing as I had become numb to it all. I saw nothing due to the blood over my eyes and time became impossible to measure. Everything was happening in slow motion, I heard everything yet understood nothing. I was powerless and without control over my welfare. I resigned to whatever was going to happen as the nearest hospital was twenty miles away which could take an hour or so to get to.

I did not see or hear from my uncle as I listened to people saying he was unconscious and the backseat passenger was also out cold. From what I gathered a passing mini-van was hailed and the three of us were hauled in. I experienced another bout of pain in my ribs and my leg as they positioned me in the back of the van. I held on for dear life as the van rocked and rolled its way over rough roads and into Sylhet.

I ensured I stayed awake and when I arrived at the hospital the emergency team got to work immediately. They cut all my clothes off except my underwear. They wiped me clean and then sewed my face up which required eleven stitches. They then put me into an open ward as that was all they had. I told them about my leg pain and my chest pain. Upon x-raying me they said that nothing could be seen because of shadows caused by internal bleeding. They gave me shots of opiate based painkillers and left me in my bed as relatives in Sylhet having heard of my accident started to visit.

I lay there on the bed not knowing what was happening to my uncle nor the backseat passenger. The conditions in the hospital were so bad that with the agreement of my relatives I discharged myself in less than twenty-four hours. My relatives hired a mini-van to drive me six hours to the capital Dhaka to a private hospital. I was accompanied by someone I didn't know. When I arrived there I was cleaned up, given pain killers and put in a private room.

X-rays with better equipment showed that I had four broken ribs too, but they still could not see what the damage was to my hip. So I was consigned to the hospital for a week. News had got to my brother in Dubai who was flying in and my mum would be coming over from England.

As I waited for their arrival I had a day to contemplate my situation and what had happened. I thought about my life, where I was heading and what this tragedy was trying to teach me. Several thoughts came home to roost;

 

  1. I was single and I was vain, my face was lacerated that required eleven stitches. I was living a vainglorious lifestyle and had shut my heart to the possibility of love. I wasn't sharing my life with someone who I could love and be reciprocated by.
  2. I was carefree and enjoyed a comfortable income which was now being taken away as I would lose a lucrative overseas contract and be relying on my savings. I had to live off my savings for four months.
  3. I considered myself to be physically in tip-top condition, yet here I was with four broken ribs and a broken hip that made me bed-ridden for over three months. I became a baby once more, whereby my mum moved in with me to look after me for the whole duration.
  4. Last but not least before my trip I had said some harsh words to a co-worker in London and the man ended up in tears. At the time I had no remorse and I felt I was totally in the right saying what I did.

I realized life had just prescribed me some tough medicine and I had to see the error of my ways. I was humbled to the core and to the point where I was hit financially, physically and left dependent on my parents like a newborn child. I realized that I had to re-evaluate my life and live a more balanced and well-rounded life. I needed to be mindful of the words I used, I needed to be accepting of help from others and finally I needed to open my heart to love.

As for my uncle he had suffered a heart attack and was saved by the airbag as it had acted like a defibrillator, kick-starting his heart back to life. The back seat passenger, well! he did not even suffer a scratch. I guess as he was sleeping his body was like an elastic band and the impact did not affect him at all.

Kindness in Khash

August 15, 2013

Mountains of southern Iran

Mountains of southern Iran

It was January 5th 2006 and coming up to mid-afternoon as we crossed the border from Iran into Pakistan. Nobody stopped us which concerned Ebs and myself a bit. I parked our Nissan Terrano next to a ramshackle of a building and approached a man that looked like a border official. The man was shoe-less and lay on a low bunk bed out in the yard of the building. He looked at me with complete disinterest, but felt the need to wave me over.

I spoke to him in Urdu and extended my salutation in Arabic, "Assalam Alaikum".

"Walaikum salaam," was his reply.

I asked him about the border crossing and what we needed to do to get our passports and paperwork stamped. Without even getting out of his bunk he made a statement that brought our world crashing around us.

"You're at the local border crossing, the international crossing is 400 miles north near Zahedan,"

Ebs and I looked at each other and cursed under our breaths as a small gathering of locals began to take interest in us. We were tired, hungry, running low on fuel and were looking forward to calling it a day on the driving. We had been up since daybreak and had been driving for the last eight hours. We looked at each other and went back to the vehicle to look at our set of maps. We decided we would head back to Iranshahr and then try to get to Khash before midnight.

We got back into the vehicle and I turned it around to head back into Iran. With heavy hearts, depression creeping in and only a Jerry can of diesel left, a somber mood settled in the vehicle. I slowly navigated back over the potholed dirt road looking at the ominous mountains to the north through which we had to retrace our steps.

We headed off in silence feeling devastated by this monumental screw-up in piss-poor-planning. All we had to do was check with our friend Mehran who we had stayed with in the Iranian capital.

We drove back through the mountains and into Iranshahr before continuing onto Khash. It was late evening when we arrived into Khash. The town was alive with people coming out of the mosques having said their prayers and going about their business of shopping and socializing.

By now we had less than a quarter tank of fuel, our Jerry can was empty and we were mightily hungry. I drove to the center of town to look for a hotel and for some fuel.

We found a couple of policemen at a busy intersection of what seemed like the town's main square directing traffic. We pulled up beside one of the policemen and I asked him in English for a hotel, however he did not understand a word. He turned to his colleague who did not even look at us but carried on with his traffic duty.

Disheartened we were looking at the possibility of sleeping overnight in our vehicle. As I pulled away I noticed a Toyota Landcruiser behind us with three young men in it. They looked as if they were watching and following us. I raised my suspicion with Ebs and asked him to keep an eye out if they followed.

Whilst looking in the rear-view mirror I drove off to find a shop where we could buy some food. Driving around I eventually found a bakery. I parked outside and walked into the shop, but noticed the Toyota slowly pulling up behind us. I ushered to Ebs to stay in the vehicle and stay alert. As I came out of the bakery, three men were approaching our Nissan. I hurriedly got into the driver's seat and told Ebs what was going on.

One of the men approached Ebs' window and asked for it to be wound down.

"Hello, my names is Shahriah, we heard you talking to the policeman asking for hotel and diesel?"

I explained what our predicament was and where we had come from. Ebs further stated that if there was no hotel we wanted to buy some diesel and be on our way as we had lost a day's driving.

"Well, why don't you come to my father's place we will get you diesel and food. If you want to stay the night you can sleep at our house," He offered.

He went on to explain that the other men was a brother and a cousin. They got back into their car and asked us to follow.

"What do we do mate?" I asked Ebs.

"Not sure," Ebs replied.

With no other option I decided we would follow the men. The men drove out of town and into the dark night of the Iranian countryside. The road was potholed and unpaved so the going was rough. Eventually we arrived at what seemed like a compound with a six feet high wall and barbed wire along the top. The gate opened and we drove our vehicles in and parked up, my Nissan behind the Toyota.

I gave the keys to Shahriah who asked a man inside the compound something I took to be to fill our vehicle and Jerry can with diesel. We then followed our host into the three-storey concrete house. Inside we took of our shoes in the hallway and turned right into a large carpeted room with pillows placed along the walls. Along one wall sat an elderly man with several other men seated around him talking. Upon seeing us they stopped and looked up.

Shahriah introduced us in Farsi, we greeted him in Arabic as was customary in the Muslim world. He then ushered us to seat, which we did leaning into the huge pillows and resting our travel weary bodies. Shahriah went off to get some food and when he returned he told us of why he approached us.

He had seen us enter town and followed us for a while. He then went home to seek advice from his father as to what he should do. His father scolded him and told him to go back out immediately and bring us into their house for food, shelter and safety.

"Khash is a town where many murders happen and there's a lot of guns coming from and going into Pakistan,".

Ebs and I looked at each other and gulped. He explained how the Baluchistan province was split into three between Iran, Afghanistan and Pakistan. Baluchistanis do not consider themselves to be part of any of the three nations, therefore they cross borders at will and fight for the Baluchistani cause no matter which country it is in.

We spent the next couple of hours being fed and watered. Shahriah was the only one who could speak English, the others apart from Farsi spoke Urdu so I conversed with them, whilst Ebs chatted with our host.

Even though we were offered to sleep overnight we kindly declined as we wanted to press on and get to Zahedan in order to cross the border the next day. Our hosts pleaded us to stay as the drive and countryside was dangerous. We insisted on leaving and after having said farewell to Shahriah's father and companions, we were escorted to the border of the town. We had a full tank of diesel plus our Jerry can was full, we were also given some dried fruits and bread to take as well as some water bottles.

We approached the border of the town which was manned and said our farewells to our generous and kind hosts.

"Do not stop for anyone or anything, just drive. If anyone hails you or flashes their torch ignore them and Inshallah you will get to Zahedan safely," Shahriah offered.

We hugged each other, and got into the car. I put the vehicle into gear and drove away into the dark night whilst waving goodbye.

Driving away I thought about the magnanimity of Shahriah and his family. He was like a guardian angel who came out of nowhere and saved us from a fate not worth contemplating about. Their generosity knew no bounds and they opened their hearts and home to us. Kindness and beneficence was extended to us without any expectation of payment or favor. I will never forget their help and the solace they provided. I hope one day I can return this to another human being in need.

(A story from my second book; to be published in 2014)

Driving to Iranshahr

Driving to Iranshahr